| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2009|12:19 am] |
So, I am on day 14 of exercise. Over the past two weeks I've gone for plenty of walks, I went swimming twice and already I'm wanting to start running again. I'm not going to do that though. I need to shed some weight in order to run without hurting myself.
Here were my starting measurements that were taken May 16th, 2009.
Chest 43
Stomach 49
Thighs 48
I don't pay attention to weight...I don't even own a scale. |
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| The beginning of my weight loss diary |
[May. 14th, 2009|02:55 pm] |
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Today I have decided that a lot of my depression is a result of me being overweight. Seriously from moving from PG to here I've gained a good 20 pounds and went up almost two sizes. Not good at all. Anyways, tonight I'm going to measure myself. I will be posting it. I don't own a scale and I think I will keep it that way. If you (whoever is reading) is disgusted in my weight or measurements, don't worry I am too. Anyways, I will be recording everything...from what I'm eating to what exercise I've done. The following from this point on will be boring post. But hey, I haven't posted in here for a very long time and I can't use my dragonflykiss account because I don't remember my password. lol. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 30th, 2008|01:25 am] |
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Oh the chemistry, the sparkle in the eyes, the love that was felt long before and never stopped. I love her. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|10:24 pm] |
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I just watched an amazing episode of The L Word. Sigh, it was hot...and Tina and Bette are on the verge of getting back together. Bette said, "It doesn't feel like an affair...to me...it feels like I'm coming home." Okay, so that is a little clique. With the accent ague over the "e". I started watching that show in Penticton. The second season is when K and I were together. It's weird how time flies. It's also weird that I think of her again. I haven't had time to think of anything else other than school as of late. Why do I let myself think of her when I'm watching hot female bodies sliding on one another. Ah, well...at least it's not driving me crazy. Only crazy enough to write it in here. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2008|10:58 am] |
2008, this should be an interesting year. There are going to be so many changes. I can't wait to come back to the Okanagan. I am really looking to build stronger friendships and to also build new ones.
I will be living in a completely different area of town and wonder what kind of affect that will have on my daily life. I'm guessing not much except the added hassle of driving across town everyday to get Courtney to school.
I bought a writers guide recently. It cost me 2.40. Crazy eh? It's because the UNBC bookstore had a 90% off sale on selected items. How wonderful it was. I'm thinking I will send my stuff to Theytus one more time and if they don't accept it, then I will send it to the states. I feel like I'm cheating Canada by doing that, but a writer told my friend that the best way to get published is to send writing to the states. This is because in Canada, publishers only allow writers to send their stuff to them and no others. If they do send to more than one place then their writing might be dismissed. In the states, they don't do that. And, it is easier to get writing grants if already published. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2007|01:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
It's 1:30 in the morning. Jared, I hope you had a good birthday.
I worked today. It was nice and slow ....I'm glad cuz it was my first day back in two months. Yes, I haven't worked for two months. It's been a combination of school and not having a car. Of which I am stressing out about because not having my car so close to my leaving date is SCARY!!!
I want to write stuff, but I honestly can't seem to get anything out. I'm thinking maybe it's time to start writing my children's series. The adventures of Charlie the Car.
I wish I was tape recording ( I guess tape recording is dated, what is it now...mp3 player recording?) all of the luncheons and tea I had with my friends here because my one friend SC is a bloody riot. Oh she is coming over on Thursday and we are going to drink a little. Not much. Just a little.
I locked Bella in my room today. She peed on my duvet. That made me sad. Now I have to sleep without my duvet because it's in the dryer. Sigh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|11:42 am] |
So, I'm a little scared to feel things for people lately. I mean feel romanatic feelings.
So, there are a couple people I'm supposed to meet while in the Okanagan. This is both a little scary and fun at the same time. There is a girl who is quite cute who lives in Vernon. I was flirting with her last night. She thinks i'm cute. Hmmmm. She is a rat, I am an Ox. She is a Taurus, I am a Sagittarius. I wonder if those matches work or not. I think I believe too much in frilly things. lol.
I started writing a short story. I was writing it this morning in Starbucks. Yes, I have the time to do that now!
I work tomorrow from 5am till 1:30 pm. Sigh. I will have to take a cab. OH, and I'm slowly going to phase out Dragonflyiss livejournal. I think . |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2007|09:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
I'm caught in this weird dilemma. My friend SC broke up with her ex back in April. She is dating someone else and is living with this guy. Her ex, M, is still calling and crying on the phone. SC comes to me and a couple of our friends for advice. She thinks, and so do my friends, that she shouldn't talk anymore to M because it is always upsetting and she doesn't want to hurt him anymore. So, I think about him and I can't give her any advice, because I know that by someone not talking to me..kills me even more...and I want to tell her to keep talking to him....cuz I want to be talked to. Does that make sense? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|04:31 pm] |
It's been a slow and lazy day. We did a bit a grocery shopping and took the bus back. It was a really good visit with Ally. That is the suck part of moving back to the Okanagan, I won't be able to see Ally as often.
Went to the dragshow last night. Wow, they had a really good performer there. A drag KING! She (he) rocked. What made him so good? Well, he must have been a dancer so he had great choreography. He was also right in step with the singing. I mean everybody else was a second behind, it looked like watching a move with the sound a hiccup behind. lol.
I wrote K a birthday wish email in facebook. Just in case I wasn't going to be around the computer around her bday, or incase I got caught up with school work and forgot. |
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| maybe this convo will help......maybe |
[Nov. 20th, 2007|06:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pessimistic | ] |
Sasu says:
good evenin lil grasshopper
Sheryl says:
oh bonjour
how was your day
Sasu says:
good thanks, yours?
Sheryl says:
meh
i cried most of it
Sasu says:
what happened?
Sheryl says:
nothing
Just missing my ex
Sasu says:
ohhhh
Sheryl says:
regretting maybe
Sasu says:
uh oh
Sheryl says:
i dunno
Sasu says:
what types of regrets?
if you don't mind me asking
Sheryl says:
breaking up with her when i was in a depression...she knew i was....and warned me...but i didn't listen..i dunno..i'm just kinda messed
Sasu says:
and she is still pretty angry? the last time you tried to talk to her?
Sheryl says:
yup
i was talking to craig mac about it today
Sasu says:
is there a way you can mebbe write her to try to express how you are feeling now?
Sheryl says:
he said maybe i just haven't met that person that is going to be the one who can make me forget about her...but i don't really want to forget about her
Sasu says:
is she in a relationship right now?
Sheryl says:
sigh, ya she is
Sasu says:
ohh
Sheryl says:
and i have told her...okay maybe i didn't say that i still love her etc
Sasu says:
well, i don't think that is the kind of relationship that can be replaced
Sheryl says:
but i did tell her i miss her to the extreme
Sasu says:
i am thinking you need to grieve the loss
cause it is a loss
and it is very valid that you have these feelings
you have to come to terms with the feelings so that you can move onto another relationship
otherwise it has thepotential to being your last couple of relationships
what do you think of it all?
Sheryl says:
i honestly just don't know how to move beyond it...it has been over a year
Sasu says:
sheryl, you were in a depression, you have made some major life altering decisions and so mebbe it is just hitting you now?
Sheryl says:
i don't know.
maybe
is that possible
to be that delayed?
Sasu says:
yes, that you could have been so busy with so many other things that it could have hit your radar now?
Sheryl says:
maybe
i'd like to think that
so how do i grieve and get rid of it
Sasu says:
mostly talk about it, think about it, allow the feelings
so that you can make sense of, and accept what hurts themost of it all
the more you look at it, the less it hurts in time
it isn't often thought of as a loss, but losing someone you love dearly is a loss
Sheryl says:
true, thank you for hearing about it and offering advise
Sasu says:
hey, how you feel is important
your always listening to me
Sheryl says:
lol, I'd like to think it doesn't. I like to think it just gets in the way of things and makes things messy
Sasu says:
lol, it does |
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| Am I insane? |
[Nov. 20th, 2007|06:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  morose | ] |
So, it's been a while since my last entry. The person whom I was referring to as being my distraction from my other ex...well...it didn't work. I miss HER so much it's killing me. It was me who ended it, but what was I thinking?? I have never in my life missed someone so much. Looking back I realize I loved her more than I even realized. I am always feeling like I've made the worst mistake in my life. Maybe I have. Or, maybe there is something to the words of Craig Mac. Maybe one day I will meet someone who is better suited for me. I can't fathom the possibilities, not when my heart still belongs to her. |
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| changes |
[Dec. 24th, 2006|01:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
Wow, it's been ages since I've written in here. I almost forgot I have it. So many things have happened since my last entry.
1)Moved to work on my second degree. Now I'm up in the stix.
2)Made a few really good friends. 3 girls 1 boy..but hey this boy we consider as one of the girls..lol.
3)Partied lots back home or close to home. Unhealthy for me but hey I needed to go through it in order to move on.
4)Met a fantastic woman who has a head on her shoulders. She is caring, generous and loving. She lives in Vancouver. She is willing to visit me on a monthly basis. This is more than I can ask for as it's so expensive. She loves me. What more can I ask for?
5)Bought a new used car, but the motor was shot.
6)Heard from my ex-husband. That was weird and a little concerning.
Those are the main things. I'm still worried and stress over money. But that never seems to change. Well, I'm going to wrap this up and say good night now.
ps. it will be interesting to see what the new year will bring me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|02:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
I cry because i miss you
I cry because i need to be near you
I cry because I feel the tears well up
I cry because there is nothing I can do
I cry |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2006|04:39 pm] |
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In the last couple of months my relationship has started to fail. I've been feeling like she has exhausted me financially and emotionally. I'm not sure where this is going to lead to, and she has asked me if I already have it in my head to break up...I answered no but the thing is..i have had it in my head to break up lots, but what if i'm wrong. That scares me. I dont' want to be wrong in breaking up with her. Everybody loves her and I see why, she is a fun loving person. But she and I are not working out. There is a very dark cloud that hangs over my head and a dark cloud that is coving my rainbow. I don't like it. Maybe this is just me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2006|10:32 am] |
I am full of a lot of hate, anger and sorrow right now. I'm not too sure how I am to deal with this. I feel like I've gone through a year and a half putting everything I have into something that has turned into a hell. So i've been told and reminded that the pride centre is "a collective". True enough, I'm the one who made it into a collective. I mention an exclusive click, and I was told that there was even clicks before. Yes thats true there was, but the different is, that the click was a mature one. Yes we were all friends and if people who were new came in...or if people who we didn't hang out with outside the pride centre came in, it wouldn't mean we would ignore them. We would include them into our convo's etc. As an events person I did my job. Krista and I threw BBQ's all the time. The BBQ's were full of diverse people, I never excluded anybody. Nor did I only tell the people that I hung out with that the bbq's would be happening. I posted the bbq's and events. I sent out emails. There are other things I did.
posted to the phoenix and tried to get other people to post.
made sure meetings were happening.
got different coordinator positions happening (nobody did what they said they would do except me and nick)
used my own finances for many things if it didnt involve educating the masses.
coordinated the presentation
brought in a bunch of books
so far, the place has now been turned into caitlyn going on a power trip, rachel and caitlyn constantly talking down about people, kim saying to me...i can't handle this i'm scared that caitlyn is going to overpower everything and it's stressing me out can you talk to her? and then turning things around and getting pissed on me..all because i didn't have time to think about what i was going to talk about in 2 days. So i postpone it. then everybody is breathing down my neck. The problem is. The meeting wasn't going to include the masses. It was just going to include the little bodies that live in the pride centre for no other reason than to gossip and ensure that nobody new comes in. IF they do try to come in, they make them feel so uncomfortable that they leave. Yes, yes I have heard this from people who now refuse to go in there.
So, now I just throw my hands up and say. Good luck. |
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| things are for describing objects and we all deserve more than things |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|12:45 am] |
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I'm a little worried for a friend of mine. She is in this "thing" and that is what I will call it because this other thing is really no good for her. She deserves more than to just be on the side and I am usually a really good judge of character and well I didn't like this person's character of whom she is in this "thing" with. I sure hope she sees the light and one day sees that she deserves more out of life. :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|11:51 pm] |
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A friend of mine drank again or maybe is still drinking tonight. She is an alcoholic and it's really quite sad. She is so confused but not. she knows what is going on with her but is not willing to do anything about it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 17th, 2005|12:41 am] |
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today i was made fun of for having lj maitenance and news on my friends list, but I didn't even know they were there. cheap. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2005|01:44 pm] |
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This is the beginning... |
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